Jennifer Lopez Expresses Gratitude for Memories with Ben Affleck, Calling It ‘One of the Hardest Years.’

Jennifer Lopez isn’t dwelling on disappointments.

A source close to the star, 55, tells PEOPLE that “this has been one of the hardest years for Jennifer,” who filed for divorce from Ben Affleck in August after two years of marriage.

“She didn’t want to file for divorce. She just felt like she had no choice. Nothing was gonna change with Ben,” says the source.

Lopez listed April 26 as their date of separation when she filed for divorce after a summer they largely spent apart on opposite coasts.

“She was very upset about it,” the source adds. “But true to her positive outlook on life, she’s moving forward with optimism. Instead of feeling like she’s fallen flat on her face, she sees it was meant to be. She’s taking time for herself right now.”

Says the source, “She knows she lives a privileged life in so many ways. She’s very grateful for all the beautiful memories with Ben, but she’s now focused on creating the best future for herself and her kids.”

Lopez appeared at the Toronto International Film Festival in September to support an upcoming movie she stars in, Unstoppable, which Affleck produced along with Matt Damon through their company Artists Equity.

The actress and Affleck took their kids to lunch together in Los Angeles on Sept. 14, after which an insider told said it “makes [Lopez] happy seeing the kids happy together.”

Lopez shares twins Emme and Max, 16, with ex-husband Marc Anthony. Affleck shares three children with ex-wife Jennifer Garner: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12.

Affleck was seen visiting the set of a movie he is working on in Los Angeles on Oct. 9. A source told PEOPLE days before Lopez filed for divorce in August that Affleck “thrives when he’s busy and he’s been working nonstop.”

Lopez also publicly set her next movie role when she confirmed Sept. 17 she will costar with Ted Lasso’s Brett Goldstein in an upcoming Netflix romantic comedy titled Office Romance.