Bonnie Chapman has a tough time celebrating the holidays after the death of her mom.

In a recent interview with E! News, the reality star, 25, opened up about ringing in the winter holiday season since losing her mom, Beth Chapman, in 2019 following a throat cancer diagnosis.

Bonnie told the outlet that celebrating Christmas is “bittersweet” without Beth, who was married to her father, Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman, for 13 years.

“Because it’s Christmastime, but it’s Christmastime without someone who was a monumental part of my life,” she explained. “So trying to find little happinesses here and there while dealing with that, it’s a balance.”

Bonnie noted that, while the feelings are difficult to manage, she finds it healthy to let herself work through them.

“I think being honest with your emotions is the best thing to do,” the A&E alum said. “If you just stuff them away, they’re just going to stockpile and you don’t want to be that person that keeps everything inside because it’s detrimental to you. I’d rather wear my heart on my sleeve than keep it guarded and have it piled up with so many emotions that have been sitting there and brewing under the surface.”

Bonnie recalled Christmas being “no joke” in her household when she was growing up. She said her mom made her and her siblings “feel so loved because she remembered everything we said we wanted throughout the years.”

Beth welcomed three children with Duane: Bonnie, Garry and Cecily. Duane has 10 additional children from other relationships.

Now, Bonnie told E! News, she honors her late mother by “never really letting myself forget and always reminding people who she was.”

She continued, “I don’t think I’ll ever shut up about her because she was my mom, she was the woman who gave me life. And the very least I can do is remember her and the memories that she’s brought into this world.”

A few months after Beth’s death, Duane, 72, said in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE that some of her kids were “barely making it.”

“We don’t know what to do,” he said. “We haven’t read, we weren’t prepared. I lost my mother first, and when my mom passed away, I’m like, ‘I wish dad would have died first, you know, ’cause I love my mommy.’ So I went to them and said, ‘I’m so sorry that I didn’t die first and mom did.’ “

In November, Bonnie got candid about her recent weight loss while speaking to E! News. She lost 60 pounds in 10 months using Tirzepatide to reach her goal weight of 130 pounds.

She mentioned that her relationship with food worsened after she lost her mom, and again when her house burned down in April 2023.

“I just didn’t feel healthy, I didn’t feel good,” Bonnie recalled. “I used food as a comfort for most of my life and I’ve realized I cannot do that anymore. I need to make healthier changes so that I’m able to be here with the people I love for a longer time.”