Mia Thornton is celebrating Thanksgiving without her ex Gordon Thornton this year — for the very first time.

“This is going to be the first holiday season that we are not going to combine,” the Real Housewives of Potomac star tells PEOPLE of splitting up celebrations amid the former couple’s separation. “We did combine last year because we were going through a separation and I felt like I wanted the kids to have the ease of transitioning.”

“We’ve decided, I’m going to take Thanksgiving, I get Christmas Eve. Gordon gets Christmas day and he has something New Year’s,” Mia, 40, says at Bravo Fan Fest on Nov. 23.

In September 2023, the couple, who share children Jeremiah, 9 and daughter Juliana, 7,announced they were separating after 11 years of marriage.

“I think that’s going to be a really good eye-opener for our children as well and be like ‘Mommy and daddy are actually separated, we’re not doing everything together,’ ” Mia explains.

Mia, who has another son, Joshua, from a previous relationship, says now that her kids are “a whole year older . . . they get it.”

Housewives viewers were first introduced to the Thorntons in 2021 when they joined the RHOP cast for season 6. In season 8, Mia hinted to costar Ashley Darby that she “might” have married Gordon for his money. The couple first met at a strip club charity event in 2003.

“Gordon was definitely our eighth housewife,” Mia jokes.

“When you decide to get a divorce, you don’t wake up one day and say ‘I want a divorce,’ ” she tells PEOPLE. “This has been something that’s been in my heart for years, but obviously, I’ve been trying to be a good wife, be a good supportive partner, be there for my husband and really try to work things out. We went to counseling and we just can’t do it.”

Mia adds that her values have changed over the years.

“I’m not the 20-year-old girl that Gordon met any longer. I’m a 40-year-old woman now. My standards are different,” she explains.

Mia also shared details about her new relationship with Incognito, who more commonly goes by Inc.

“I love everything about Inc. Are you kidding me? He’s so amazing. He’s such a beautiful person and he just radiates positivity and love and support,” Mia says. “He’s bringing me closer to my faith. He’s a man of God. [It’s] really not what I experienced in my previous marriage. It actually has grounded me into becoming a woman.”

Mia says that this new relationship with Inc, who she first dated in high school, is a complete shift in a more positive direction.

“He shows up for the kids. He shows up for my career. He shows up in every aspect of life,” she says. “And there’s no mess — finally there’s no mess.”