According to ALLOD insiders familiar with the incident, there was a bit of a stir at the Oscars. Kevin Costner was scheduled to present the lifetime achievement award to this year’s winner… until it became known who it was.

“The set manager said, ‘I’m Whoopi,’ and within half a second, Costner said, ‘Oh, no, of course not. ‘ He handed the envelope to Cheryl and went back to his seat. Cheryl, who really had nothing to do with anything, handed the envelope to the next closest person, who happened to be Keanu Reeves.” Keanu took the envelope, handed it to Joe Barron and followed Costner back to his seat.

“When you can’t even get Keanu Reeves to give you the award,” Barron said, “you probably have to retire. He’s like… the nicest guy in the world. He told me if I gave him the award, he’d be the butt of criticism at the marina. He doesn’t even go to the marina.”

At first glance, the story doesn’t make sense. It’s almost like we’ve already done it with Keanu and it went so well that we decided to drop another favorite they think is on their side and see what happens.

Anyway, good for you, Costner and Keanu. You’ve kept this nonsense alive for another day. God bless America.